{God, where are You}

As most of you may have noticed, my blog hasn't been updated in some time.

I could come up with a list of reasons; I had too much on my plate, classes were taking over, I needed time with friends.

But truthfully, this is the real reason: I couldn't find God.

I felt like God was no longer speaking to me; there was nothing being laid on my heart. All I found was silence. No huge revelation, no light bulb over my head. There was no 'still small voice.'

I'm surrounded, every day, by followers of Christ, yet I felt like I was the only one missing out on Him.

God, where are You?


I remember once in fourth grade, waiting outside on the curb after the final bell. My father was supposed to pick me and my sister up from school. Darkness would be coming soon; we still waited. Hours later, it was my mother who pulled up next to the curb, relieved to find us in the same spot that we had been for hours. In our minds, we were confident that our father would come. Somehow, we still had faith in him.

The Israelites wandered in the desert for 40 years, waiting.

The Jews waited, and are still waiting, for their Messiah.

Wrapped up in waiting is a sense of perceived abandonment, being forgotten, not feeling important enough to be remembered..we've all experienced and dealt with these kinds of feelings.

And it is during these times that God responds:

Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land. For I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.

(Genesis 28:15, ESV)

Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.

(Deuteronomy 31:6, ESV)

That was the revelation that I was searching for, that my heart was seeking out. Sure, I've read those verses countless times, but it always seems that they take on new meaning when your heart needs to soak it in, when you're at the end of a road with no answers.

My revelation: these past two months, God has been closer than He has ever been.

He endures our struggles, our crazy schedules, our broken hearts, our times of rebellion, because He loves us.

We will not be forsaken in the wilderness, no matter how unstable and unsure things may seem. Our Messiah has come, and He is walking with us, step by step, holding us when we stumble and reassuring our hearts that we are not alone.

How badly I needed to hear these words.

I pray that they would root themselves in your heart and offer you encouragement and hope when you feel like you're walking through your wilderness, waiting. God is near, Christ is here. We will never walk alone.

Blessings,

A.

{by our love, we will be known}

Happy Monday my friends!

As it is Make-A-Difference Monday, I thought I'd start off with a story.

This morning I walked into my local coffee shop, a place where I frequently spend my time during the summer months. As I sat down at a corner table, a man who I've been sitting across from the past few days, engaged me in conversation. When I arrived, I had no intention of speaking to anyone because I had assignments to complete, things to do..I had a plan: to lay my things out on the table, plug in my headphones and tune everything, and everyone, out.

Enter, divine intervention.

After sitting down, this man (let's call him Bob), asked me how I was doing. I answered back, not expecting the conversation to last more than a few minutes. Little did I know that it would lead to over an hour of discussion and him sharing his heart.

Bob is a man after God's own heart and his words spoke life to me.

Where did I "make a difference" you may ask? Other than hopefully allowing him to see into the world of my faith, I didn't. Bob made a difference in my life.

He caused me to evaluate how I respond to people, how I interact and engage with them. Ultimately, he planted a seed, beckoning me to examine how I love people.

Towards the end of the conversation, Bob told a story of woman he knows, who personally changed how he loves others. He described her as a woman who truly lives out the love of Christ in situations that the world would say are least deserving of love. It was in that moment that I realized why I woke up, drove to the coffee shop and chose that table.

God's voice was clear.

My love for those around me, in actions and in words, is nowhere near the standard that Christ calls me to. I am slow to listen, quick to speak and quick to get angry. I pass judgment unknowingly and treat people out of that judgment rather than from a place of love. I am impatient and at times hold grudges. I act self-righteously and my pride swells to attain glory that it's not due.

When all of these thoughts came rushing to me, I suddenly realized how human I really am.

I've regarded myself as a Christian; one who serves the Living God and has offered the throne of my heart to the King of Kings..but how can I say that, with honesty, when my life has somehow found its way onto the path paved with good intentions rather than the straight and narrow path?

This Scripture couldn't explain it any better:

He replied, "Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you hypocrites; as it is written: These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.  (Mark 7:6 ESV)

It hit me like a ton of bricks! What a hypocrite I've been! My heart so easily strays from God, while my lips speak His name.

My takeaway from this experience? My life, but more importantly my heart, needs to operate out of love, rather than pride. When I learn to love, or rather be love, only then can Christ rightly be glorified through me. We each need to be an example of Christ to a lost and hurting world, but when honest and pure love is replaced by so many half-truths and false feelings, we're left with a bigger wound and hearts that have turned away.

Most of us are familiar with John 13:34-35:

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.

And Paul writes this in Ephesians 4:1-3:

I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Every person, every life that I encounter should be done in a manner that breathes humility, gentleness and patience. How can I expect to truly love someone if I'm not willing to bear with, understand and accept them?

Harsh words need to be cast aside. Forgiveness needs to be extended.  Ears need to be opened. Tongues need to be silenced. Anger and judgment need to be replaced with patience and humility.

Where does it start? A pure heart.

Love one another earnestly from a pure heart. (1 Peter 1:22 ESV)

Wrong intentions and personal gain will never give life to the righteous life that God has called us to. Love is born of God, and because of that, we must come to know Him and understand His heart so that our actions and words reflect His own.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. (1 John 4:7 ESV)

My heart rejoices at that thought. Each day that passes, and through interactions like the one I experienced this morning, I am coming to know God and understand His heart more and more.

Friends, let us love.

It is by our love that we will be known.

Blessings,

All Worth the Wait

I've been thinking a lot about marriage lately. With it being the summer months, I have friends preparing for their weddings, or friends that just recently married. So now I wonder, out of curiosity, what my life holds?

I've never been in a relationship, and while many people find this strange, I think it it one of the most important qualities about myself. I have never felt the need to be in a relationship, and there are a few reasons for that. Growing up, I was so focused on school, that the idea never really crossed my mind. Sure, I had crushes like every other little girl, but it wasn't something that would develop into anything. As I got older, I found myself interested in people, but because of my relationship with God, there was always a voice telling me that it wasn't the right time.

Where I am right now, isn't far from where I was before. The idea of being courted, getting to know someone, and eventually marrying someone, is exciting, but I'm not going to lie, it's terrifying as well. The excitation comes from not knowing who he is going to be; who God has chosen. The terrifying part comes from not knowing if I'm messing things up by not giving people a chance.

I've never been the kind of person to rush things, and I value myself too much to be in a relationship with just anyone. People ask me how I'm going to know if someone is the right person, unless I date them. And my answer to this is simple: when the right person comes along, on God's timeline, there isn't going to be any question in my mind. Things are going to happen the way that they are supposed to.

Yesterday, for the first time, I read Song of Solomon, twice, and once again today. That is one part of the Bible that I never touched, partially because I never really understood it. There were parts in it that scared me, as well as parts that seemed too advanced for my 'childish' mind to accept.

After reading it, I discovered a few things. First, Song of Solomon is written not only as a perspective of how things should be in a relationship or marriage between a man and a woman, but also how Christ perceives His church. We are His bride, and He is our groom. The words and descriptions that Solomon use give us a glimpse of how Christ sees us. We are His prized possession, and He finds us beautiful. 

Song of Solomon 4:7 -- All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you.

That love and relationship is more important to me than any relationship I could ever have with a man. My focus isn't on who my future husband will be, but on Christ. My relationship with Him can be viewed as a courtship. I'm growing and learning about Him, and I reveal more of myself to Him (regardless of the fact that He knows everything about me). One day, I, as well as you, will be His bride; His eternal love. When I finally came to understand this yesterday, it made me realize how I want a relationship to be.

Adjustments needed to be made in my life so that my choice to remain pure for God and my future husband wasn't made in vain.

In April of this year, I placed a purity ring on my finger.

Back story: When I was 5 years old, I received this ring from my grandmother, but after bending it out of shape, it remained in a jewelery box. After 2010 had begun, I was looking for something that 'announced' who I was and what I believed. This is the year that I will be turning 21. I thought about what the best gift I could give, not only to myself, but to God and my future husband as well. Over the Easter holiday, that answer came. I found my little ring in the jewelery box, waiting there after all those years, and I knew that this is what I needed. I took it to the jewelers, had the band reshaped and polished.

Now on my finger, sits a small, gold ring. In the middle, sits a cross with a small diamond in its center, surrounded by a heart made of two intertwined ropes.

It's perfect.

I never knew that 15 years ago this ring would help me to make a promise.

This promise I've made encompasses a few things: 1) It's not only a promise to myself, but also a promise to God that I will keep my body pure. 2) I will remain pure for my future husband and 3) I will above all else, keep my heart guarded and protected against the temptations of this world, so that when my day of marriage comes, I can give myself completely to my husband.

The lyrics below are from a song called, 'From Here' by Big Daddy Weave. It's the song that speaks so perfectly about what has been on my heart. Jesus Christ is sitting in heaven, waiting for that special day when He will wed His church, but until then, He is watching our relationships between each other develop.

My child, I’ve hoped and I’ve prayed for this very day
Since you were just a little one
And oh how my heart swells with pride
As I watch the man that you’ve become
But this life offers no guarantees
And though my time on this earth had to end
I’m sure that your heart would know peace
If you could just see where I am

From here, the race has been run and love’s already won
I see clearly the end and the start
From here, I’m cheering you on
So live out each breath with all that you’ve got
And know until I hold you close
I’ll be holding you dear in my heart
From here

I’ve seen your tears as you’ve waited alone
Longing for that special one
And now all the waiting is done
As you gaze into her eyes
Seeing the reflection of love
Life’s road may seem rough up ahead
And for now you see only in part
So hold onto each other and know
That there is an end to the dark

Heaven is calling and my heart keeps longing
Looking so forward to the day
When we’ll be together forever in eternity
Just you wait and see

To me, marriage is not only a bond between two people, but a bond between those two people and God. A husband is supposed to not only the leader of the home, but a spiritual leader as well. As a woman, and future wife, my role is/will be to support, encourage, listen and honor. Wives are called to submit to their husbands, and husbands are called to respect and cherish their wives. A husband should be strong in his faith, and seek God in all that he does. A wife should be meek and humble, surrendering her life to God.

I'm not being slow about my choice..because it's not my choice. My future husband has already been hand picked by God, and the day when he is revealed to me, is something I look forward to.

"There is a man that God has, waiting for me out there. It's not always fun waiting & wondering who he is, but using this time to get to know my Creator, makes it all worth the wait."  ♥

Blessings,

A.