Friday, August 13, 2010

All Worth the Wait

I've been thinking a lot about marriage lately. With it being the summer months, I have friends preparing for their weddings, or friends that just recently married. So now I wonder, out of curiosity, what my life holds?

I've never been in a relationship, and while many people find this strange, I think it it one of the most important qualities about myself. I have never felt the need to be in a relationship, and there are a few reasons for that. Growing up, I was so focused on school, that the idea never really crossed my mind. Sure, I had crushes like every other little girl, but it wasn't something that would develop into anything. As I got older, I found myself interested in people, but because of my relationship with God, there was always a voice telling me that it wasn't the right time.

Where I am right now, isn't far from where I was before. The idea of being courted, getting to know someone, and eventually marrying someone, is exciting, but I'm not going to lie, it's terrifying as well. The excitation comes from not knowing who he is going to be; who God has chosen. The terrifying part comes from not knowing if I'm messing things up by not giving people a chance.

I've never been the kind of person to rush things, and I value myself too much to be in a relationship with just anyone. People ask me how I'm going to know if someone is the right person, unless I date them. And my answer to this is simple: when the right person comes along, on God's timeline, there isn't going to be any question in my mind. Things are going to happen the way that they are supposed to.

Yesterday, for the first time, I read Song of Solomon, twice, and once again today. That is one part of the Bible that I never touched, partially because I never really understood it. There were parts in it that scared me, as well as parts that seemed too advanced for my 'childish' mind to accept.

After reading it, I discovered a few things. First, Song of Solomon is written not only as a perspective of how things should be in a relationship or marriage between a man and a woman, but also how Christ perceives His church. We are His bride, and He is our groom. The words and descriptions that Solomon use give us a glimpse of how Christ sees us. We are His prized possession, and He finds us beautiful. 
Song of Solomon 4:7 -- All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you.
That love and relationship is more important to me than any relationship I could ever have with a man. My focus isn't on who my future husband will be, but on Christ. My relationship with Him can be viewed as a courtship. I'm growing and learning about Him, and I reveal more of myself to Him (regardless of the fact that He knows everything about me). One day, I, as well as you, will be His bride; His eternal love. When I finally came to understand this yesterday, it made me realize how I want a relationship to be.

Adjustments needed to be made in my life so that my choice to remain pure for God and my future husband wasn't made in vain.

In April of this year, I placed a purity ring on my finger.

Back story: When I was 5 years old, I received this ring from my grandmother, but after bending it out of shape, it remained in a jewelery box. After 2010 had begun, I was looking for something that 'announced' who I was and what I believed. This is the year that I will be turning 21. I thought about what the best gift I could give, not only to myself, but to God and my future husband as well. Over the Easter holiday, that answer came. I found my little ring in the jewelery box, waiting there after all those years, and I knew that this is what I needed. I took it to the jewelers, had the band reshaped and polished.

Now on my finger, sits a small, gold ring. In the middle, sits a cross with a small diamond in its center, surrounded by a heart made of two intertwined ropes.

It's perfect.

I never knew that 15 years ago this ring would help me to make a promise.

This promise I've made encompasses a few things: 1) It's not only a promise to myself, but also a promise to God that I will keep my body pure. 2) I will remain pure for my future husband and 3) I will above all else, keep my heart guarded and protected against the temptations of this world, so that when my day of marriage comes, I can give myself completely to my husband.

The lyrics below are from a song called, 'From Here' by Big Daddy Weave. It's the song that speaks so perfectly about what has been on my heart. Jesus Christ is sitting in heaven, waiting for that special day when He will wed His church, but until then, He is watching our relationships between each other develop.

My child, I’ve hoped and I’ve prayed for this very day
Since you were just a little one
And oh how my heart swells with pride
As I watch the man that you’ve become
But this life offers no guarantees
And though my time on this earth had to end
I’m sure that your heart would know peace
If you could just see where I am

From here, the race has been run and love’s already won
I see clearly the end and the start
From here, I’m cheering you on
So live out each breath with all that you’ve got
And know until I hold you close
I’ll be holding you dear in my heart
From here

I’ve seen your tears as you’ve waited alone
Longing for that special one
And now all the waiting is done
As you gaze into her eyes
Seeing the reflection of love
Life’s road may seem rough up ahead
And for now you see only in part
So hold onto each other and know
That there is an end to the dark

Heaven is calling and my heart keeps longing
Looking so forward to the day
When we’ll be together forever in eternity
Just you wait and see

To me, marriage is not only a bond between two people, but a bond between those two people and God. A husband is supposed to not only the leader of the home, but a spiritual leader as well. As a woman, and future wife, my role is/will be to support, encourage, listen and honor. Wives are called to submit to their husbands, and husbands are called to respect and cherish their wives. A husband should be strong in his faith, and seek God in all that he does. A wife should be meek and humble, surrendering her life to God.

I'm not being slow about my choice..because it's not my choice. My future husband has already been hand picked by God, and the day when he is revealed to me, is something I look forward to.

"There is a man that God has, waiting for me out there. It's not always fun waiting & wondering who he is, but using this time to get to know my Creator, makes it all worth the wait."  ♥



1 comment:

with love.