That I become weary with holding in the name of my God; that I would feel an all-consuming fire within my bones at the thought of not being able to proclaim the truth that God has revealed to me; that I would be passionate about seeing the work of Christ here, in my life and in my home and in my city and in my state and in my country and in my world; that my heart would be burdened by the things that burdens the heart of my Lord; that I would meditate on His Word, day and night; that my life would be a place in which God's glory is displayed, for His glory alone.As a student at a Christian university, I've had the opportunity to read large portions of the Bible, take classes where I learn (in-depth) what it means, learn from prominent scholars in the field, and worship with other students at Chapel.
I've been blessed, to say the least.
But my heart longs for so much more.
One of the major prophets of the Old Testament, Jeremiah, was ridiculed by his people for His trust in God. Yet He remained steadfast. He understood that God had given him a job to do: to warn the people of Israel that if their hearts remained hardened against YHWH, that they would be handed over to their enemies, that they would enter exile.
This is his response:
If I say, “I will not mention him,Have you ever had something so powerful, so empowering to tell that you would tell anyone who would listen? Something that you would gladly hand over your life for, so that the secret didn't die with you?
or speak any more in his name,”
there is in my heart as it were a burning fire
shut up in my bones,
and I am weary with holding it in,
and I cannot.
(Jeremiah 20:9 ESV)
This was Jeremiah.
His resolve came with waiting upon the Lord, trusting in who He was and who He is - filled with His spirit to go forth and do the things that God had called him to.
This has become my prayer. To have such a fire within my bones, a fervent desire to see the Kingdom of God come to earth, to see His glory displayed here, that I literally become weary from holding it in..so that I cannot.